Dar Debrecen
Counsellor, social worker, teacher, healer, writer.
Minimalist, hiker, cyclist, dancer, lover of nature.
A Little About Me...
Learning About Acceptance...
I came out as gay and agender at twelve years old. This made life very challenging for me. I was threatened and harassed by children, teens and adults nearly every day for many years. Mostly for the way I dressed, and my long hair. These experiences taught me a great deal about love, fear, acceptance and forgiveness.
I became very critical of society in general, and compassionate towards the oppressed. Gender, race, religion and sexual orientation mean different things to different people. I have no need of labels or opinions. To really get to know someone, you must let them change and grow. I learned not to identify people with their bodies or habits. To see people as they are, we must let go of our own thoughts and approach them as if for the first time, every time.
A Passion for Critical Thinking...
At twelve years old I also started seeing and feeling a kind of light and magnetism around people. I had never read or even heard about it. Neither had my friends or any of my family. I was curious but scared. I was met with doubt and skepticism, which I took very seriously. I didn’t want to lose myself in superstitious nonsense or become delusional.
That is why I’ve always approached the metaphysical in a scientific way. While I’ve done some reading and taken a few workshops, most of what I know comes from personal experience. I’ve spent thousands of hours meditating on my body, my thoughts, my feelings and chakras. It’s surprisingly practical and anyone can do it!
The Call to Be a Counsellor...
I knew I wanted to be a counsellor when I was thirteen years old. I lost sight of this dream when I entered a relationship with an older man at seventeen. He was very materialistic. He discouraged my spiritual interests and encouraged me to study medicine.
I attended the University of Manitoba where I got a Major in Microbiology as a pre-med degree. But competition for medical school is fierce. Every year the local school has 900 applicants, 300 interviews, and takes 100 students. I got an interview three times but was never accepted. They were right not to accept me as I didn’t have the discipline one needs to succeed. At the end of my relationship, I immediately returned to my passion for counselling and energy work by starting my own business.
Healing my Own Wounds...
I'm an Open Book...
I value authenticity and transparency. My approach to counselling is that of friendship and mentorship. My entire life is an open book so feel free to ask anything you want to know. I’ve been married and divorced. I’ve had numerous injuries and chronic illnesses. I’ve travelled. I’ve had all kinds of “mystical” experiences. I’m happy to share with you what they taught me.
As a counsellor, teacher, and friend, I want to inspire you. You should know I’ve struggled too; physically, mentally, and emotionally. I’ve overcome many of struggles to varying degrees. Some with great success. Currently I’m working on accepting physical pain and disease and not letting these be obstacles to my peace of mind. We are all evolving!
I Was Once...
- Prone to feeling angry and easily frustrated
- Easily embarrassed, especially if I felt stupid
- Quick to give up on things I wasn't good at
- Sensitive to whether other people liked me
- Very attached to money and rather selfish
- Filled with craving for material things
- Hurt when possessions were lost or broken
- Unable to take criticism without getting defensive
- Judgemental about alcohol and drug use
- Prone to feeling lonely and misunderstood
- So anxious that I couldn't talk to strangers
- Quick to think of myself as better than other people
- Very impatient and lacking in compassion
- Easily resentful and prone to hold a grudge
- Prone to lie in order to avoid confrontation
- So vain I would spend hours looking at myself
- Devastated when people said I wasn't attractive
- Sensitive about my gender and sexual orientation
- Attracted to people who aren't good for me
- Incapable of enjoying sex due to previous abuse
- Desperate to be special and important
The Way I Am...
- I almost never feel angry or frustrated
- It's been years since I felt embarrassed
- I'm not easily discouraged anymore
- I never wonder what other people think of me
- I feel joy in being generous and don't worry about money
- Material possessions mean little to me, I am content
- Lost or broken possessions rarely phase me
- I often feel joy when my shortcomings are pointed out
- I no longer feel any judgement about alcohol and drugs
- Being alone or misunderstood no longer bothers me
- It's been many years since I felt any social anxiety
- I no longer feel pride or shame
- My patience and compassion continues to grow
- I can't think anyone or anything I'm resentful about
- Should I fear confrontation, I do it anyway
- I'm happy with myself without feeling proud of it
- I feel no need for others to find me attractive
- Gender and sexual orientation aren't part of my identity
- I'm attracted to people who are truly good for me
- I'm able to enjoy sex without disassociating
- I feel joy at the thought of being unimportant
My Experience...
- Counsellor at TheHeartChakra
- Energy Worker at TheHeartChakra
- Counsellor at AVI Health Clinic
- Health Educator at AVI Health Clinic
- Yoga Teacher at Mindfulness Nanaimo (Current)
- Social Worker at Big Brothers Big Sisters (Current)
- Customer Support at The Embody Lab (Current)
- Meditation Teacher (Volunteer) at The Nanaimo Hospice
- Counsellor at Nanaimo Family Life (BSW Practicum)
- Spiritual Teacher (Volunteer) at Lentil as Anything
- Spiritual Teacher (Volunteer) at Karma Yoga
- Meditation Teacher at BodyMindLife Yoga and Pilates Studio
My Certificates...
- Masters of Clinical Social Work (University of Calgary)
- Bachelor of Social Work (University of Victoria)
- Major in Microbiology (University of Manitoba)
- Therapeutic Touch (1, 2, and 3)
- Reiki (1 and 2)
- Certificate of Hypnotherapy
- Agama School of Yoga (Level 1)