How To Set Achievable Goals

This guide explains how the do’s and don’ts of setting goals. With this short tutorial, you’ll be accomplishing one goal after another no time!

HOW TO SET ACHIEVABLE GOALS

If you already have a single goal in mind, you can skip steps 1-5 and jump straight to step 6.

If you’re interested in reflecting on the various aspects of your life and how you can improve your sense of satisfaction then start with Step 1.

What you’ll need:
A notepad or word document. You will want to write or copy and paste the questions in bold as you go along.

STEP 1: HOW SATISFIED ARE YOU?

On a scale of 1 – 10 where 10 is completely satisfied, reflect on the following areas of your life and assign a number. Feel free to include areas not listed.

Health
Fitness
Financial
Business / Career
Spirituality
Family (alternative: Friends / Community)
Intimate Relationship
Personal Development
Possessions

STEP 2: WHY AREN’T YOU MORE SATISFIED?

Make bullet points for each expressing why it isn’t higher or what would make it higher. These can be very brief.

For example:
Health 5 / 10
Chronic foot pain
Stomach troubles
Headaches

Spirituality 6 / 10
I don’t meditate ‘enough’
Lack of friends who share my values

STEP 3: TAKE A MOMENT TO REFLECT

Take a moment to reflect on the numbers and bullet points. Are you surprised by any of your answers? This can help you see how well-balanced your life is, or isn’t.

You may even notice that you’ve been working hard on an area you already feel rather satisfied with. Maybe there are areas which you have neglected.

Using your imagination, how would improving the one or two areas you scored lowest on, support the other areas of your life.

For example:

I’ve been focussing on the need to meditate more regularly (Spirituality) but I’ve actually rated Community a 3 / 10 and in thinking about that, I realise if I had more friends who shared my spiritual interests that I would most certainly be meditating more.

STEP 4: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?

The next step is to make four boxes for each category and title them as follows:

1) WANT AND HAVE
Write about things you want and value, that you already have in your life.

For example:
Spirituality

Considerable knowledge and experience with Buddhism, yoga and meditation
Friends with similar interests (though they are overseas)

Health

I usually get 7-8 hours of restful sleep
I have a well balanced diet

2) DON’T WANT AND HAVE
Write about things you don’t want but do have in your life.

For example:
Fitness

Hunched back
Text back
Weak knees

3) WANT AND DON’T HAVE
First take the things you wrote in the ‘don’t want and don’t have’ section and turn them into a positives before adding other things…

For example:
Fitness

A straight back and neck
Strong knees that let me sit cross legged
To be able to do a one armed hand stand

4) DON’T WANT AND DON’T HAVE (OPTIONAL)
This category’s optional. It may seem strange to think about things you don’t want, and don’t have, but it can reveal some interesting things.

Doing this might help you identify things you…

fear
are grateful for
have already accomplished

For example:
Fitness
I don’t want to be overweight (and I’m not)! – possibly a fear

Health
I don’t want asthma and I don’t have asthma! – something to be grateful for

Career
I don’t want to work full-time for someone else, and I don’t, I have a part-time job in addition to running my own business! – something I’ve accomplishment

STEP 5: PRIORITISE YOUR WANTS

Go back to your want and don’t have list and prioritise them by placing a number beside them. In each category, what are your top priorities?

For example under Spirituality:
1) A daily meditation practice
2) A daily reading practice
4) A daily mantra practice
3) A spiritual community

STEP 6: WHAT STORIES HAVE YOU TOLD YOURSELF? (OPTIONAL)

This step may not apply to all of the desires and goals you have considered but for those it does, it’s a very important step. Answering these questions will help you recognise the possible obstacles or excuses you’ve been making for why you have not managed to accomplish this yet.

For example:
1) A daily meditation practice

 What is my problem?
I meditate infrequently and for very short periods of time compared to what I used to do. This has negatively affected my concentration, my familiarity with positive emotions and my ability to transform negative thoughts.

 How long have I had it?
This problem probably started four years ago when I left Australia for Europe.

 Where does the fault lie?
I began meditating less when I was separated from my spiritual community. In Sydney I lived with friends who loved to sing mantras and meditate. I also had my own meditation class and was teaching meditation at the Yoga studio where I worked.

When I developed chronic pain in my feet and could barely walk, my meditation was affected as the majority of my meditation was done while walking.

Then I developed chronic stomach pain which brought more pain and uncertainty. I was having trouble accepting and reconciling the fact I couldn’t stand or walk comfortably anymore, and now these stomach issues. Attempts at meditation often brought all the pain and discomfort into focus but the problem seemed to me insurmountable and I think the frustration lead to my practicing less and less. I see these are excuses though and can see how it would have been possible to maintain my practice in spite of all those things.

 Who is to blame?
No one is to blame, but I am responsible.

 What is my worst experience with this problem?
It has lead me, on many occasions, to long for oblivion.

 Why haven’t I solved it yet?
I just wasn’t ready and capable at the time of accepting and transforming those obstacles… and that’s okay. I am ready now.

STEP 7: WHAT MAKES A GOAL A GOAL?

The next step is to take some of the desires you identified earlier and turn them into goals.

Pick one desire and frame it in the context of a goal as best you can – then take it through this process to see if what you wrote qualifies as a realistic and achievable goal. If it doesn’t, that’s okay, you can probably change the way you think about it to turn into something that you can achieve.

WHAT MAKES A GOAL A GOAL?
A goal must be stated in the positive.
A goal requires time and steps to accomplish.
The goal must be possible (obeys the laws of physics etc.)
The goal should self-initiated and self-maintained
The goal must be specific and measurable

STATE YOUR GOAL IN THE POSITIVE
This is the first step and it’s VERY important. The mind cannot process negatives. You cannot, for example, “remember to forget something” and if you read the words, “don’t think about an elephant”, it’s probable an elephant has come into your mind. When we say “I don’t want” we often bring to mind the very thing we do not want, thus giving it more energy and attention. You need to frame your goal as something positive.

Example:
“I want to stop smoking”
versus
“I want to be a healthy non-smoker”.

The first is more likely, though not necessarily, closely linked to feelings of shame, guilt, regret, desperation, frustration etc.

The second is more likely, though not necesssarily, closely linked to feelings of inspiration, excitement, love and compassion for yourself.

The first is more likely to leave your mind with the image of smoking.

The second is more likely to leave in your mind the image of yourself feeling happy and healthy.

When you formulate your goal, ask yourself how it feels. Do you feel desperate, needy or frustrated, or do you feel joyful and light hearted. Play with it until you connect to a positive feeling.

We can be motivated by positive or negative feelings to perform the same action. For example, you can diet and workout motivated by a sense of self-loathing and disgust but you could undertake the same diet and workout regimen with a sense of love and joy. Positive feelings are far more likely to carry you all the way to accomplishing your goal.

This step might help you recognise and shift from a negative, fear or self-loathing based motivation to a positive, loving, compassionate motivation.

FEELINGS ARE NOT GOALS: THEY ARE STATES OF MIND

You cannot make “feeling good”, “feeling happy” or “feeling confident” a goal because these are states of consciousness. They can be realised instantaneously through a change in perspective and may not require any “work” or “steps” at all. They are not specific, or measurable.

It’s possible you will react to accomplishing your goal with a pleasant feeling but it will be temporary. Has accomplishing your goal, “made” you feel that way? Where do our feelings really come from? They arise from within us. How we feel, as a reaction to external events, like getting a new job, or internal events, like pain in our body or a pessimistic thought, depends mostly on our beliefs.

There is nothing you can do, possesses or accomplish on an external level that can give you a permanent sense of satisfaction. You may want or need to explore this concept further before you commit yourself to a goal with the wrong expectation. What is it you really want? Listen to my podcast Learning To Be Happy to understand this better.

Rather than expect accomplishing your goal to MAKE you feel a certain way, you will likely need to feel a certain way in order to accomplish your goal in the first place. Part of accomplishing your goal is about leveraging or learning how to bring about positive and resourceful states of mind. There are many methods to help you achieve this. You may want to consider counselling, journalling and meditation.

MAKE SURE YOUR GOAL IS POSSIBLE
You can’t change the past OR the present but you CAN plan for the future.

You can’t get a new body or a new mind but you can improve and learn to love the ones you have.

You can’t control what other people think, feel, say and do, but you CAN learn to understand them and become more persuasive.

You can’t manifest money (or other possessions) out of thin air but you CAN train yourself to see and take advantage of opportunities and resources.

IS YOUR GOAL SELF-INITIATED AND SELF-MAINTAINED?
Self-initiated means the goal is your idea, that it’s your desire. For example, you want to quit smoking and you’re not merely trying to quit because other people have asked you to, or told you that you should.

Self-maintained means, in part, that you don’t make your effort or success dependent on someone else. In this example, if you were to say “I can’t quit smoking unless my partner also quits smoking” then the goal is not self-maintained. Ideally, you are 100% responsible for accomplishing you goal.

Example: you cannot make a goal of winning the lottery or getting a raise. Winning the lottery is due to chance, it is not in your control. The final decision for getting a raise is someone else’s so that doesn’t work. You can make a goal of working harder, being more efficient OR even learning how to be more persuasive and assert your worth.

IS YOUR GOAL SPECIFIC AND MEASURABLE?
Your goal should be specific and measurable, so you know for sure if you’re making progress or not.

If the goal is vague, not specific, or not measurable, you’ll have no way of knowing when the goal has been accomplished.

When you have no way to measure your success, you’re more likely to evaluate your work from a very subjective and mood-dependent lens. When you feel good, you may look at your effort favourably and when you feel bad, you may look at your efforts unfavourably. When the goal is specific and measurable, it also feels less personal. It becomes a task and not a measure of yourself as a person. You’re able to adjust your efforts in order to accomplish your goal.

STEP 6: TURNING DESIRES INTO REALISTIC GOALS

 What, specifically, do I want?
Write out your goal and add details to make it more specific.

Example: I want have a daily meditation practice…

Probe: Well, what kind of meditation do you want to practice?

Breath meditation…

Probe: How long do you want to meditate for each day?

30 minutes… okay, so I want to do breath meditation for 30 minutes everyday…

Probe: But ‘every day’ has no end, how will you know when you’ve accomplished this?

Alright, I want to meditate everyday for 30 consecutive days and once I’ve accomplished that, I can aim for 60 days…

Now the goal is more precise:
I want to do breath meditation for 30 minutes everyday for 30 days in a row.

 For what purpose do I want this?
To improve my mental and emotional heath. To improve my ability to relax, manage stress and concentrate.

 Is it Ecological?
This question’s asking us if accomplishing our goal will have a positive effect on others and the planet. You want to ask yourself if other people, animals, or the environment may be affected. Will they be negatively or positively affected by working towards and accomplishing this goal?

Example: yes, by improving my own mental and emotional health, I will be a positive influence on everyone around me. It comes at no cost to others or the environment.

 Where am I now in relation to this goal?
Probe: have you ever meditated? How often do you do it and for how long?

My meditation sessions are informal and brief. I meditate for a few minutes here and there throughout the day but I don’t have a practice of sitting still and staying put for the sole purpose of meditating.

 What will accomplishing this goal get for me or allow me to do that I otherwise would not have?
It will improve my concentration and mindfulness, allowing me to notice and identify negative thoughts more quickly and transform them. It will also help me be more productive at work and with chores, as I will be less distracted.

 Is the goal self-initiated and self-maintained?
My goal does not depend on chance or someone else’s actions. My meditation practice is my own desire and my practice does not depend directly on anybody else.

 What resources are needed, what do I have now, and what do I need, in order to accomplish this?
I need to know how to meditate, which I do. I may want some props to help me, like a cushion and incense, though they are not necessary. I currently possess the knowledge, experience and materials I need to move forward.

*You may realise in this step that you don’t have the things you need to accomplish your goal. You may not have the knowledge, the skills, possessions or supports you need, and that’s okay. If that is the case, add acquiring these things as part of your goal.

 Where, when, how, and with whom do I want to achieve this?
I will use the Insight Timer app with bells to keep me focused and make sure I do the full 30 minutes. I will do my daily meditation at home. I would like to accomplish the 30 days by the end of July. I will accomplish this with reminders on my phone and I will ask my partner (when he can remember) to ask if I’ve meditated yet today.

 Have I ever had or done this before?
Yes, I have accomplished this very thing (and more) in the past.

 Do I know anyone who has done this before, or is doing it right now?
Lots of people!

*If you have never done anything like this before, think of other people who have, maybe read about them, or talk to them if possible. See what worked and didn’t work for them.

 How will I know when I’ve achieved this? Be specific.
I will be using a calendar to keep track of how many days in a row I’ve done my meditation.

STEP 8: PREDICTING OBSTACLES

Now that you’ve made sure the goal is specific, measurable and achievable, you want to ask yourself… what might happen to discourage me or make this more difficult?

If applicable, ask yourself these questions…
 What has prevented me from getting started in the past?
 What has caused me to give up or not follow through in the past?
 When, how or why have I become discouraged in the past?

Remember, the greatest obstacle is often your limiting beliefs. If you don’t believe it’s possible, or if you don’t believe it’s possible for YOU, then chances are you won’t get started or that you will give up. And guess what… that’s okay. We can change our beliefs and the first step to do that is to clearly recognise and admit to ourselves what we currently think and feel.

Contemplate the different obstacles you may encounter, for example:

Running out of time to finish it…
Not having enough money to finish it…
A related foreseeable challenge to your health…
Obligations to work or other people…

The obstacles you encounter will be very specific, but there is one type of obstacle you are more or less guaranteed to face: un-resourceful states of mind.

It’s probable you’ll face internal obstacles like self-doubt, a lack of confidence in your abilities, feeling unworthy, and losing faith in the deeper meaning or purpose of your goal.

As we talked about, these thoughts and feelings constitute a state of mind that comes about depending on what you believe. You need an action plan to shift you out of these un-resourceful states of mind, into more resourceful states.

Very often, our real wish in accomplishing the goal is to attain a state of mind (which it cannot do). We may think that buying a new house will make us happy (but it cannot do that). Positive thoughts and feelings are cultivated through moment to moment practice. They are not realised in a moment in time as a result of accomplishing a goal. You want to think of positive feelings as tools and resources for accomplishing your goal.

STEP 9: WRITING ‘IF - THEN’ STATEMENTS

An if-then statement is the plan you have in mind if that particular obstacle should arise.

This could be the most important step of goal setting. Anticipating obstacles and creating “if-then” plans is a proven method for increasing the likelihood of accomplishing a goal.

Example:
If I run out of money before accomplishing my goal, then I will pick up more hours at work.

If I start to feel it’s not worth the effort, then I will pick up my notepad and review the reasons why this is important to me (and others) in order to restore my motivation.

You want to anticipate un-resourceful states of mind to arise and have a plan in place to recognise, honour and transform them.

STEP 10: VISUALISING THE STEPS AND THE OUTCOME

You want to bring the goal to life with your imagination. It’s important you don’t leave it in your mind as mere words, a mere concept or idea. It’s important to use as many senses as you can in picturing it; sight, sound, touch, smell, taste. Most importantly feeling and emotion.

This isn’t something you have to write. What you need to do, is actively, intentionally, and purposefully visualise this, and the longer you spend doing it, the better. If you choose to write something, it only needs to be some words and points to help you imagine it again at another time.

Tips: don’t just accept the first images / sounds and feelings that come into your mind – enhance them!

Visuals: try increasing the contrast of the image, make it sharper, clearer, how does that feel? Try brightening the colours, how does that feel? Take it from first person to third person or third person to first person. How does it feel? Is the image near or far away, try bringing the mental image closer and in front of you, how does that feel?

Sounds: can you hear your own or others voices, is there music playing? Bring to life the sounds by making them clearer or more emotive.

Feelings: bring to mind a positive feeling, maybe it is joy, maybe it’s excitement, maybe it’s pleasure, whatever it may be, ask yourself this question… how would this feel if it were 10% stronger, if it were 20, 30, or 40% more intense and guide yourself deeper into the sense of satisfaction.

Lastly, realise that this feeling is your own creation. You are right here, right now, experiencing this pleasant feeling as a result of your imagination. This is possible because our feelings come from inside us, not outside us. You don’t need to accomplish your goal to be happy, to feel good. Accomplishing goals should be fun and playful, it should be a game.

*These are tools for changing your state of mind… you can also use them to switch from a negative or un-resourceful state of mind into a positive one!

 What will I see, hear, feel, etc. as I’m working towards it?

Each time I complete my daily meditation, I will see my living room, the plants, gemstones and furniture around me. I will hear the gentle sound of traffic from the street below. I will smile with awareness of my breath and indulge in the softness of the cushions beneath me. I will feel light and cheerful.

*If your goal has several steps you can visualise yourself engaging in each step cheerfully. You might even imagine the obstacles arising, but envision yourself using the plan and it working right away: you overcome the obstacles with calm, patience and confidence!

 What will I see, hear, feel, etc. when I accomplish my goal?

If your goal is something like buying your first home, then imagine the day you meet with the real estate agent and sign the papers. Imagine who is with you then. Bring it to life with imagery that feels good.

STEP 11: LEARNING FROM YOUR FUTURE SELF

Imagine yourself at the end. You’ve accomplished your goal and you’re reflecting on how you got to this point.

 What, if anything, surprises you about accomplishing this goal?

 What was the last step you had to take to finish it?

Come back to the present moment. Are you feeling more calm, more confident? Maybe excited? Do you feel as if your goal is more realistic than before? Do you feel more aware of the potential inner and outer obstacles you might face? Are you feeling light hearted? Remember, goals are meant to be fun, personal challenges, not a desperate needy endeavour to find happiness in the future!

That leaves us with one final question…

 What is the next step in accomplishing my goal?

IS YOUR GOAL SMART?

Now that you’re familiar with the process of setting achievable, realistic goals, you can go through the process a lot faster with SMART.

Is your goal SMART?

S: is it specific? Make sure the goal is not a feeling!
M: is it measurable? Is it meaningful? What will accomplishing this do for you
A: is the goal realistic and achievable? Do you have the resources you need?
R: is it self-initiated and self-maintained, are you 100% responsible?
T: is there enough time? Where, when and who will be there?

Don’t forget to make your ‘if-then’ plan!
Don’t forget to visualise the steps and outcome in sensory detail!